WHAT IS IN A DASH?

‘‘I’ll tell you a secret, something they don’t teach you in your temple. The gods envy us. They envy us because we‘re mortal, because any moment might be our last’’.
(Achilles speaking to Briseis in the movie Troy)

What is the opposite of death, life or birth? 

Don’t tell me the mention of death scares you too? Come on, any day now you’ll…never mind. 

It’s been three days since August began, and there’s already so much to talk about. Edo state branch of NULGE protested on Wednesday, one slumped and died. Orubebe was on the news again today, not for good, of course. Hope, Mmesomer, and Bibi never forget to remind me that it’s a new month, love it. The rain is gradually quieting down or maybe it’s just me. My old phone has this new bad habit, it goes off when I need it to be on and also stays off when I need it to be off. Yeah, it’s always off. BEDC has been raining on my parade. 

Do you ever feel like your life is swallowing you up? Maybe, it's going a little too fast for you? Or you are getting no enjoyment from life? I read once that it is sometimes worst than death. I may or may not know a little about this. 

I saw again on EBS, just before the evening news, a gone-too-soon announcement. The family said that he’s forever in their heart, but that one nor concern me. This is what got me really thinking, it was simply written; 1988-2016. Can you imagine? A man’s full existence is summarized like that. But really, what’s the summary of life? I guess it’s in a dash! The way I see it, there are 3days in person’s life; the day they are born, the day they live and the day they die. In my thought, other people fill a date on when you are born and when you die but leave a dash on when you lived because only you can fill it.

This dash between birth and death day is quite different. It’s not the kind you find in your red English language reader asking you to fill in the blanks nor is it the dash you put before you explain the formation of Acetyl CoA (Prof. Bamikole sha). 

This DASH is the summary of your whole life. That day you finally took your first walk after a lot of omomo kege. The days you started and stopped crying about school. How you crushed on Atitinugo and experimented smoking with remain from the customers' stick. That day you went on evangelism and prayed you to marry a virgin. All the time life took from you and all the time it gave to you. The days you can’t remember and the ones you can’t forget. The dash is all that and more. The content of the dash may differ. 

You see, people don’t cry about how you are born or die. They cry because they will miss how you lived, that's why we tend not to cry for strangers. I don’t mean to dash your hope and belief for long life, but any moment could be your last. Okay, Our last, if it makes you feel any better.

My advice (which you always don't ask for but I'll always) is to start living deliberately! Stop photocopying people’s existence and moonwalking your way through life. Pursue a dream with all your gut, however absurd. Gain mastery. Travel just to see snow and the ugly emu bird. Go on a mission. Give, take, and share. I’m sure you have your list, just go on and live. 

The beauty about living is that when you do, you inadvertently give others the courage to do the same.

MAYBE IT'S YOU.

Frankly, I think this I-am-sorry-I-have-been-away thing is already too old. So, why don't we try something new? How about I gist you a bit of what I can say kept me away? You like that, don’t you?

Here it goes, I’m now in 400L. While that’s final year for most people who aren't going for Songhai, nah one year remain for me. So, let’s save the bottles for later. I was not with the crew that went in search of the moon, exam kept me. My exam was fine, thanks for asking. You were going to ask right? And one of my pretty sister lost her maiden name. Yeah, they said I am not supposed to cry. They said it’s a good thing. They said I’m all grown up. Who else gets that often? 

And while I was away, I noticed everyone, including me, was blaming society for the several things they got wrong. That’s what I’m talking about today. Yeah, I’m happy to see you too.

I’m weary of listening or even hearing by chance the whining of men and women. Those, who will take the slightest window to dodge responsibility for their poor choices. Anytime they succeed, even when it’s by pure luck, they’d say they took the risk, took impossible decisions, made sophisticated plans, and this and that. But, when they fail at anything, someone is behind it! It has to be Iye and her gang of Azens and Osos. Pick a struggle, my friend! 

See, I don’t wanna use this to dispute the outside factor. No! I just want us to think together. Aren’t we giving too much credit to society? More than they even deserve! My friend, the cause of your troubles is not and will not always be external! Think am nah! Maybe we are giving society more credit than they deserve is all I'm saying. 

You blamed society for how you bleached your skin to mimic snow when your problem simply was a poor self-image.  You blamed societal opinions for how you picked a course you never wanted and will never want to study, hence the lack of drive. When your only problem was your sac full of insecurity. Your blame your age and how society will raise their nose at you for how you ended in a leaking marriage. When your problem was obviously inpatients and your nah-only-me-remain-wey-never-marry mentality. Are you listening to yourself now? Should I remind you more? That’s how you got here. You are afraid and Irresponsible. Are you offended? I’m not sorry. See, I know being responsible is not cheap, but it's the only way.

Let me tell you some truth;
(1) when you choose your path (any path!), you become responsible for how you end up. You don’t compare! You don’t complain! You neither throw nor honor a blame party!

(2) Society is many things but your problem. They are your spectators, onlookers, challenge, springboard, market, and reason, but never your problem.

(3) Remember 1 and 2!

Here’s for a fresh start. Take a thorough inventory of your life. Pick out the broken pieces. The part you are not proud of and you’d rather apportion blames. Those parts that you think are not your fault. Now, be responsible and accept that it’s your fault. Yeah…it's your fault.  Then, start again. You will prefer it, trust me.